


Past Is Already Written

by rmartin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 22:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmartin/pseuds/rmartin
Summary: Some revelations are made.





	Past Is Already Written

Ren is quiet as Hux approaches Poe. There is something in Hux's eyes that makes him remain quiet – he could tell Hux what he suspects is the truth but there is no point. He will give Hux hope – just this once. He knows that it will soon vanish. He can tell just from looking at Poe Dameron.

Ren knows it was just a joke – a simple taunting but Hux is restless. He is desperate. He told Ren that he needs to know – needs to hear it from the pilot. Ren kissed him and softly smiled at him and then he led him here – maybe this is exactly what Hux needs. To hear the truth from their enemy's mouth – and then he will come back to Ren. He will wrap his hands around Hux's small figure and he will hold him. Because in the end – it's Ren who can offer Hux the comfort he needs.

He watches as Hux takes off his coat and comes closer to their prisoner. He looks fragile – more than ever. The last conversation with Dameron left him with old wounds that opened anew – the blood is still fresh and Ren can feel his pain – and it's frustrating that he cannot do anything about it. So he patiently waits for his turn. He knows that Hux is not weak – and yet he worries. He worries because he sees the shadow in Hux's eyes, the paleness of his skin. If he could, he would hold Hux in his arms even now. “Come on, sweetheart,” he thinks – maybe he's the one who is desperate after all. “Come on. Let's end this so you can sleep peacefully at least tonight.” He will hurt the pilot for this – this mistake. He knows that Poe Dameron will die – now that there is no Resistance and his mother is dead – there is truly no hope left.

Hux stands in front of the Dameron – and frowns. There are so many questions he wants to ask – so many things he needs to know and understand. “Dameron,” he says and it sounds like a sigh of an old man. Dameron strangely looks at him and then his eyes find Ren, leaning against the wall with one hand on the lightsaber and the other ready to crush Poe's throat if he dares to hurt Hux in any way. “The last time we talked – “

He pauses. “The last time we talked you mentioned your knowledge about certain information – I want to know more about it.”

Dameron frowns. He looks confused for a moment. Then he understands and his eyes are suddenly sad – pleading. “I told you I know something about your mother,” he whispers heavily and says no more. The silence falls on all three of them. “Hux,” he murmurs then. It's an apology. “Look,” he adds. “I said it just to – “

Hux stops moving altogether – he stops breathing. He cannot move. Ren understands that he's processing the revelation. And then he sees the anger – the rage that usually comes after the hope is crushed. “So you don't know,” he says coldly after the understanding settles in and he swiftly moves forward. It looks like he's going to hit Dameron – slap him or hurt him in some other way but Hux just stands and watches. He is breathing harshly. Ren can feel his pain – his anger and his confusion. He looks like a kicked dog – and his eyes are empty. Ren wonders if this is his time to approach him – to come closer and wrap his arms around Hux's middle. But then Hux speaks and Ren understands that he's not done.

“She was a good woman,” he says. “I am a monster but she wasn't like me – I don't remember much about her, you know. I have no fucking idea how she looked like – I just know that she was – she had to be! – very beautiful.”

“I am sure she was, buddy,” Dameron weakly smiles. “And I never said a bad thing about her – I don't judge people for what they like. She had to see something in your father, didn't she? That's why she chose to have a son with him.” It's meant to be soothing – but Ren sees as Hux's face grows pale. He almost smirks – so Dameron doesn't know. His attention turns to Hux. His lover is visibly shaking now – it all seems like an insult to him. Ren should stop him and take him away – now he knows – now he finally knows… But why? Maybe this is what Hux needs – he rarely speaks about his mother in front of Ren. So Ren lets him – lets him push it all out. That anger and that sadness. He will feel better in the end – he has to.

“My mother was a slut – a whore!” Hux is not crying – at least not yet – but it's clear that the tears are forming in his eyes. “I thought you knew. I thought that you and your friends were laughing about the bastard who somehow managed to get on the post of the General. It's a fucking nice story, you know. She was a kitchen maid – she was nothing and he used her. He raped my mother – and I was born. He raped her and hurt her and then left her like she was just a toy – he didn't need her until he did.”

Dameron wants to say something – anything – but there is no time. Hux continues. “I was six years old. I was just a child when he came to us and tried to take me away. I remember she was screaming – no, not my son – and Brendol was quiet. He took out his blaster and pulled the trigger and her body fell on the ground. After what he did to her, she no longer looked like a human. There was a hole in her head – and blood covering the floor, it was soaking through her clothes. She wasn't beautiful – he destroyed her and took me away.”

Dameron is quiet – still in shock it seems. “I – “

But what can he say? I am sorry? I didn't know? It will mean nothing and he realizes that. Hux's body shakes under the force of his sobs. Ren can see his tears clearly now – rolling down his cheeks like raindrops and he knows it's his time. He moves forward and wraps his arms around Hux's shorter form. He presses his cheek into the crown of Hux's hair and he holds him close while his lover whines. His shoulders are trembling.

Dameron is unable to say a word – he is staring at both of them with regret in his eyes. He looks like he's close to crying too.

Ren presses a kiss against the side of Hux's head. “We should go,” he murmurs. “I will take care of him, just wait for me outside. I will join you shortly.”

He is surprised that Hux listens to him without giving a proper fight. He just nods and sniffs and it makes Ren's anger even greater. He feels as it turns into rage. Hux walks past him – he never looks at Dameron. He doesn't want to see the apology – the pity in the pilot's eyes. The door closes behind him with a silent click. Dameron looks at Ren.

“You love him, don't you?” he asks quietly.

“I do.” Why should he hide it? Dameron is going to die anyway. This might be his last night being alive. He should go to hell knowing that he lost completely.

“You shouldn't love him – as much as you do. And his mother's shouldn't be a whore. Bad guys are bad guys,” he whispers weakly and looks at Ren. “Right?”

It repeats into Ren's head. Bad guys are bad guys. He shakes his head. “You are your side's hero,” he reminds Dameron quietly. He thinks of Luke – if he could, he would bring that man back from the dead and kill him all over again. “He told you all of this just because he knows you're going to die.”

Dameron laughs – for the last time maybe and he seems like he's regretting everything. This war – this life. There is nothing more he could lose. “Go on,” he says finally. And then, as an afterthought, he adds: “I am sorry, Ben.”

Ren says nothing. Let the past die, he reminds himself. Kill it if you have to. Then he looks at the door – there is someone waiting for him outside. Hux. His future.

That's the only thing that matters now.


End file.
